| wowww.
so its been like three months since ive even been to this page.
i was an emo little fuck. haha.
im thinking about using this thing again.
im not sure yet.
p.s. this is what i look like now. ha.
edit: so i decided to make a new one.
www.xanga.com/ieatbabies_x |
| |
| wow.
my stomachs burning.
because I just realized..
that I have been denial.
for almost half a year.
since November, 18.
I'm pathetic. |
| |
|
uhm. hi. :]
I heart Gunner.
k?
|
| |
| Today we learned that a boy at our school died in a car accident...when I first heard about it...it didnt even phase me. I didnt even think about it. I didnt think about how the life of a boy that could have been something great...was over. I didnt think about how his family must have been dealing with it. I didnt think about anything. To be honest within 10 minutes I completely forgot. I didnt even remember the story until I talked to one of my really good friends who was crying because she knew him, but instead of actually remembering what the boy went through all I could think about was her, and how I just wanted to help her feel better.
It never hit me about what had happened...what REALLY happened...until I read an entry from another friend of mines xanga. I didnt think about how this boy had FRIENDS. this boy had FAMILY. This boy had a LIFE. and now its gone.
My mom was almost in that accident...just a few minutes after she drove through that spot the accident happened. It could have been her....she could be dead right now...This whole experience has made me realize...anything can happen at ANY time. and it can happen to anyone. its made me appreciate what I have more because tomorrow...it could be gone. someone close to me could die tomorrow...and what if I dont cherish that person with all I have before it happens? how will they know how much I love them before it does? what if they left and I NEVER got the chance to tell them how much they meant to me? ...and what if its me that dies tomorrow? there are so many things that I want to do...there are so many things that I want to live for...I havent been doing to well lately. I've been acting like my time is unlimited..and it isnt. I need to live life as great as I can and make the best of everything. because life is to short and to precious to waste.
and its stuff like this that makes me angry about how people act towards each other. How we can stand there and insult or judge eachother every day. what if one day you insult someone...you say the cruelest thing you can think of and dont even think twice of the effect it could have on them...and then that night or the next day...they kill themselves because of what you said. how would you feel? how would you be able to live with yourself knowing that when that person died they were thinking about how awful YOU made them feel. how could you live with knowing you might have been the cause of them taking that razor and letting their life spill out? or how would you feel knowing you were the reason they swallowed those pills? I guess what I'm trying to say is...people should live life loving eachother and treating eachother the way we should treat each other. with respect and curtesy...because you never know what your words can do to a person...or how they can affect you after you've said them, and cant take them back.
John David, even in death, is still making a difference, like I'm sure he did when he was alive.
REST IN PEACE
2/11/06
|
| |
ha. its sad how this reminds me of Gunner.